The Si-Bling* factor

Today I recall an incident that’s still fresh as a daisy in my memory… That summer evening while still basking in the glory of the tag ‘newly wedded’, we walked out of a buzzing mall of Mumbai to head home in a rick. While I enjoyed my ice-cream, a little girl on the signal, maudlin and worn-out, kept gazing at me. I handed over my half- eaten ice-cream to her thinking she would dig into it, but my heart sank at what I saw after that. Thrilled, she quickly ran towards her baby brother who sat on the pavement like a little Humpty-Dumpty, too young to beg, and handed it over to him while herself watching him with twinkling-little-starry-eyes, a proud smile that did not accentuate her not-so-chubby-cheeks, and her heart melting away in anxiety like the ice-cream. I could not have experienced such deep and profound love for a sibling ever in my world.

The “si-bling” factor in my life is my younger sister, the rebellion and go-getter, who has always given me advise on my naivety rather than seek from me. I fondly remember an incident of our childhood when we had three chocolates with us. While we brainstormed on how we could distribute them equally between us, she smartly expressed to gobble up one herself which would eventually leave us with two which could now be accurately divided between us. In my innocence I agreed when my mother over-heard us and made me understand the trick. I was shocked and at the same time embarrassed.

Be it the choice of neon colors in her wardrobe, choice of exotic food on her plate or her genuine belly laughter, the rainbow of her personality has always reflected colorful and the diamond of her character has always blinged brilliantly…

Chai ki tapri

This is a paradise in the form of a little Tapri (a little hut kinda shop) very common in Indian cities that make up for a quick adda (a small gathering of friends or colleagues)… I never miss the very Indianised full milk cutting (half cup) coffee here whenever I am in the vicinity… Its situated off a busy road in the heart of the city in a bylane thats quiet and green too… Its earthy, grounded, quick and blissful 🙂

The Traumatic “To a TEE”

In an act of calling myself wise and modest at the same time, I have no qualm in confessing that I adhere to double-standards of living. Probably I have come out of age and it gets really torturous to act like a “Sati Savitri” in a society consisting of numerous women who believe in following every tradition to perfection and some newly wedded “Poo bani Parwatis” too…

In an attempt to fool their men about their un-divided attention and devotion, these pampered new “bahus” who think of themselves as Cinderellas straight of the new-age fairy-tale, surpass every challenge thrown in on them by their mother-in-laws, with great enthusiasm and energy… But in due course of time, the huge ball of raging fire dies down to merely a re-chargeable battery that has to be plugged-in for ‘n’ number of hours every-time to score in a mediocre performance…

To my common-sense and I believe every sane person’s too, putting up mehendi on hands, donning a red saree, a mangalsutra round the neck and sindoor in a narrow channel right in the middle of a woman’s head, fasting for day long with fruits and milk and offering water and sweets to the moon on a Karwachauth night, cannot  add years to any woman’s husband’s age miraculously or for that matter if not done to a Tee, subtract years…

As a matter of fact, Karwachauth is mostly celebrated in the western and northern parts of India on the fourth (chauth) day of a Full moon in the month of Kartik by the Hindu calendar. This festival started off to celebrate autumn (wheat sowing season) and as a prayer for a good harvest in the predominantly wheat-growing parts of India. It was also to enjoy friendship and companionship of fellow married women who belonged to the same village and exchange gifts and pleasantries as those were the times when girls got married at their early teenage years in a distant village far off from their parents’ and when phones or other modes of communication between the newly married young girls and their parents were a distant dream. The religious angle of Karwachauth is a fairly recent addition with little or no bearing to the past. (Source: Wikipedia)

Similarly, there is a ritual in our weddings (of Marwaris from Rajasthan) of sparing some lose coins to the bride by their parents which started when the little girls hardly 12-13 years were married off in a distant village to an unknown family. These brides had little or no knowledge of the world outside their homes but were fond of buying and eating toffees and churans (digestive powders made of mixed spices) and hence were handed over some personal money in the form of coins (which were of high value at those times) to take care of their personal needs in case the in-laws paid no heed to their little girly demands. The coins (which have lost its face value in today’s times due to manifold increase in the value of money) still occupies a little space in the high value handbags of brides which proves my point.

Its amusing and at the same time disappointing and upsetting to know how we Indians are obsessed with all the relevant rituals and traditions of the past times which have completely lost its purpose in the 21st century modern India…Following one’s cultural traditions to enjoy a festival or a marriage ceremony with friends and family is much appreciated but if the same process becomes a task to be planned, arranged and followed to a Tee, its not short of being called ‘Religious fanaticism’…A toned down version of religious extremism…

With due respect to every custom, ritual and cultural tradition, I enjoy them as long as they do not become a screaming-out-loud task at hand that has no logic and gives no breathing space. We truly have to evolve and come out of age. The idea behind every ceremony should be to celebrate and share a smile with loved ones with right intentions and positive vibes. There is no reason why we should get bogged down by the weights of older times and create an environment of religious pressure wherein every ritual has to be performed at the right time in the exact procedure to a Tee and beyond… my system just rejects and refuses the idea…